It's here! The week I've been waiting for and dreading all at the same time has finally arrived. It's moving week, and my life feels, quite honestly, upside down. As I laid my head on my pillow last night, I couldn't help but notice the fluttering in my stomach. Why the butterflies have chosen to plague me at night, I'm not quite certain; but I do know that they are just a symbol of what's going on inside my heart of hearts.
Flutterings of anticipation are probably the largest group of butterflies living inside me these days. I'm overjoyed at the prospect of what the future holds for our ministry. Chip and I are both eager to see what new mission opportunities lie ahead for Gateway Global Missions, and we're excited to be a part of that. I greatly anticipate teaching at GCC and working with the college kids there. This anticipation definitely plays a major role in my night time ponderings.
There's also another type of fluttering that I almost hate to admit resides inside of me: the mystery of new beginnings. These flutterings will quickly turn into anxiety if I think on them long enough. Thankfully, God has given me many Scriptures to remind me that we are in this together. Anxiety will do nothing to help me or my family transition from one ending to a new beginning. Oh, but the unfamiliarity of it all! So many new faces to meet, new friends to make, new walls to decorate...new, new, NEW! What I wouldn't give for a little bit of old amongst all the new.
As I write I'm reminded that my boxes that line the garage are full of the old I so desperately want to carry with me. Memories aren't stored in boxes and hung on walls, but the reminders of those memories are. As we load the moving truck tomorrow, I can calmly tell my butterflies to take a nap, because the memories we've made over the years will continue with us, no matter where the truck eventually stops. Friends from around the world will be moving with me, tucked away in a picture or a momento. Somehow, the newness of Thursday will become part of the old that makes up this family, and once again I'll put my butterflies to rest.
Sweet dreams!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
As your mom,my heart goes out to you in this uncertain time of your life. Yet I know you and I know you will be just fine!
ReplyDeleteHow many memories I have in my heart and head from years of moving around all the way from a little girl to a grown woman with children and a husband. Many friends left to never see again and yet so many wonderful memories to cherish.
God is amazing and so caring. He not only knows your thoughts and fears but understands them according to Ps. 139.
I love you Libby and love the woman you've grown into.God has your hand in HIs right hand. This I know for a fact! Mom